There are some not-so-classy things that even a lady such as myself cannot resist thinking about. Super-sexy Brad Pitt is one of them. In the shower. Steamy. Hot. And clean…?!

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The message was simple: Geico.com is easy. How easy? So easy, a caveman could do it. Geico, a post-advertising age advertiser before its time, delivered this message with pathetic/loveable, yuppie cavemen, two real characters with authentic beefs...and beards. But Geico got greedy and went for the post-advertising holy grail before it was ready to.

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Let me read you a passage from my fantasy diary: I’m at a fabulous tapas restaurant, enjoying a few delectables with my friends. There is a cute guy sitting at the bar, drinking a glass of red wine. We make eye contact. I smile. He smiles. And then...

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Is it possible for a brand to step outside the boundary of its story and still be authentic? Bacardi is trying to do just that with a brand concept store it's opening in Nassau. But I’m having a hard time understanding how a windbreaker bearing the Bacardi name fits with its brand story.

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There’s no denying it: Humans are animals. You, too. Though we tend to try to hide behind a façade of civility. Still, we eat other animals. We mate. We fight for dominance (elections anyone?). Just because evolution has moved us to the top of the food chain doesn’t mean we should forget our connection as animals to other animals.

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Most news outlets these days seem to suffer from the same plight: a lack of unbiased content that is actually newsworthy, relevant and important. The news isn’t exactly the new kid on the block in the media world, so news stations should be brand-masters by now. Until recently, one was the brand-master of them all.

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Target, will you marry me?

If you are the observant type, you may have picked up from my Gravatar that I like to shop. I would actually term that as a mild understatement. Shopping is not only a hobby for me, but I also consider it a sport—one in which I compete at the Olympic level. Though Intergalactic Post Advertising HQ does not have a satellite office in Beijing (yet), Olympic fever still abounds here. So I only thought it fitting that Battle of the Brands cover the playing field of my sport, two of the biggest mass retailers around.

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Social networking sites have revolutionized the way people connect, reconnect and interact. Not only do they make it easier for stalkers to do what they do best, but they also give those who are socially inept a way to be…well, social (while still, of course, being inept if they so choose). Then there are a few normal folks on there, like those of us here at Intergalactic Post Advertising HQ, who use it to stay in touch with old friends. That's all we use it for. Really.

This week on Battle of the Brands, the two biggest ones square off.

MySpace vs. Facebook

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First there was Guitar Hero. Then Rock Band. Now AOL is bringing us Battle of the Brands. No, that is not a typo. And no, it does not involve a bunch of high-school wannabe rockstars making dogs howl. Read it again. It says "brands." As in a lineup of 80 brands facing off against their biggest competitor. The battleground? A consumer survey. And each week here at Intergalactic Post Advertising HQ, we are going to be examining a different featured fight and maybe even picking a few of our own.

First up, in honor of Father's day: Home Depot vs. Lowe’s.

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Charlie Sheen and Michael Jordan are not BFFs in the newest spots for Hanes’s “no stretch collar” T-shirts and “no ride up” boxer briefs. But since Sheen wants to be your buddy, MJ, there are some things you may want to know about him: According to his ex-wife/mother of his children, he's not a great parent and has a taste for kiddie porn not unlike many a burgeoning roué. Also, he has a crazy ex-wife. In the ads, Jordan plays himself, and Sheen plays himself as that guy who thinks the other guy is interested in being friends with him because they are on the same level of famousness. The first spot ends with Sheen throwing his phone in Jordan’s car saying, “Number's in there. Call me!” This is perhaps a merciful respite for us all from the spectacle of the Sheen/Denise Richards text message/telco drama.

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Columbus, Lewis and Clark, and Daniel Boone didn’t find it. Not because they didn’t chart every territory but because this territory is off the charts for them. Literally. Menopauseland is only accessible by older women after surviving long emotional hardships, unseasonably warm hot flashes and nightly floods of sweat.

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